December 30th, 2020, 02:22 AM

I can never drift off as easily anymore, my chest swells with an exciting feeling from being in bed. I’ve spent many hours fantasizing about John’s arms around me and mine around him, embracing him beneath our thick covers. We’d heat ourselves, each other, and the bed. Skin against skin, not only in a way of lust, but with the intent of comfort. I’d caress his head, my thumb rubbing against his temples and the rest of my fingers gently locked within his strands of hair. He’s resting on my forearm, using it as a pillow. Maybe it goes numb, but I don’t mind. I let it go numb for him.

I tell him he’s beautiful and that I love him, not that he hasn’t heard it before. It’s something he hears daily, and I make sure of it. He smiles, the same way he always does, this familiar expression that brings me peace.

His hands are resting around my waist, his fingers exploring my own bare skin as we find ourselves shifting and rearranging our limbs to get closer to each other. I’m not one for eye contact, but for him, it’d be okay. His are such a vibrant shade of green, one you’d admire from emeralds, the same shine that you’d find in such breathtaking object coming from each his eyes.

He’s already mine, but how far away he is kills me. I can’t wait to see him in person. I want to experience his vessel beyond anything I previously thought was possible. I want to sense every part of him and spend hours tracing my fingers against his every piece of body. I want to do the same with my lips, letting him know every part of him is not only lovable, but actively being loved.

He’s such a beautiful being, I could go on and on if I wasn’t so tired. I can’t wait for the tiny moments with my dearest.